


There's a balance in serenity

by makingitwork



Series: Across the Galaxy [1]
Category: X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Charles Xavier has a Ph.D in Adorable, Erik Logic Is The Best Logic, Erik is Crushing Harder than a 12-year Old Girl, Erik is not a Happy Bunny, Fluff, Happy Ending, Jedi Charles, M/M, Sith Erik, Sith Shaw, Star Wars AU, Torture, Turning to the Dark Side, Violence, a little bit bad touch, allusions to non-con warning, dark side erik, the tags for this ship are amazing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-17 15:52:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13080231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makingitwork/pseuds/makingitwork
Summary: Sith Erik connects with Jedi Charles.Or, the Star Wars AU that no one asked for.





	There's a balance in serenity

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Hope you like it!

The first time Erik had met Charles Xavier, it had been on a small neutral planet just outside of the Rigblar system. 

Inside a dimly lit pub, where Erik had been nursing a scotch and mulling things over. He'd looked up when the floppy haired brunette had walked in, and politely requested some brandy. He had a slim figure and an appealing profile, and Erik was considering a chat up line for some night time company when he'd caught the resistance ring on his finger. 

"Part of the rebellion?" Erik asked, and the man- boy, really- he looked young and earnest. A typical Rebel, then: with idealistic views and naive approaches. Fresh faced and not at all prepared against the trials of the real world. 

The boy looked up and beamed "yes that's right, are you?"

Erik shook his head "I don't get involved with politics."

The boy looked curious, but didn't pursue the issue, and accepted his brandy gratefully. "I think it's rather good spirits, though," the boy piped up eventually "to be a part of something bigger than oneself."

Erik had ignored him, and paid his tab. 

He'd never thought anything of it. Thought that the rebel fighter was one of many he would see in his peripheral but never really come into contact with. He'd lived life on the outskirts, and was happy in his seclusion. He'd had no idea that it would lead to everything it had, the road he would take...

When he looks back on it, that first meeting with Charles Xavier was significant in its insignificance. 

A tormented outcast, and a naive idealist walk into a bar on the neutral section of the solar system.

Erik wonders if God likes jokes.

...

...

...

The second time Erik sees Charles Xavier, he's a different man. 

He's broken and full of hatred and anger. 

Whenever he closes his eyes he sees red visions of Magda and his little girl, the way they screamed for him to protect them, how he'd tried- how the chaos had fallen around them like a relentless cloud of smoke. 

It had unlocked something in him; that feeling. 

And Shaw had found him. 

Taken him in, trained him, harnassed him into a weapon. Made use of all that raw pain and emotion that could be moulded, shaped into the force. 

Erik is Shaw's right hand man, and part of the First Order. He's watched entire planets burn, and he's helped to do it. He's learnt to fight in ways he had never even dreamed, and the power that he can feel teeming in the tips of his fingers makes him feel less helpless than he did when his wife and child had called for him. It makes him feel like he has some control in this bitter, ugly world. 

He's standing beside Shaw and watching the distant fight jets engage. 

"There's a new Jedi aboard that ship." Shaw says, his eyes alight in amusement but quick and alert. "Someone's accessed the force, Erik. It seems you have a little competition." Erik doesn't say anything. Shaw doesn't expect him too. "Still, a little competition's healthy, isn't that what they say?" He chuckles to himself, when one of the attendants looks up from the screen 

"The cruiser's looking to make contact, Master Shaw," he says, and Shaw laughs even louder 

"He's got moxie, this one." He nods "allow mutual projection." Shaw moves to stand on the raised circular platform, and Erik stays put, and watches as the floppy haired boy from the bar appears in front of him. 

A part of Erik twitches. It's an oddly small universe, for all its immensity. He remembers being that man in that bar, how easy everything had been back then. When he'd been all alone and unfeeling. Unconflicted. 

"Commander Xavier," Shaw grins "to what do we owe the pleasure?" 

"I come for a show of good will." Xavier says, his hands clasped together in front of him "our escape pods carry our injured and sick, we only want them to approach Alderaan in safe orbit. We're not carrying any weapons. We ask for safe passage and refuge from your guns. In return, our fighter jets will hold off for long enough to allow you to refuel." Erik hums to himself, it's a generous offer, if it's honest.

Shaw cocks an eyebrow "and how do I know you're not smuggling weapons?"

"You can scan the ships. You have our word."

Erik examines Xavier through the grainy hologram. He looks just as he did all those years ago. Maybe he looks a little more tired and drained, but it's hard to tell through the faulty connection. 

Shaw sighs "fire at the escape pods."

Xavier doesn't speak, but his jaw locks. "We merely asked for a show of good will."

"And you are traitors to the First Order. Do you think I don't know who you are, Charles? Because I do. I know everything about the force. The resistance will surrender, and if it does not, it will be destroyed." Charles doesn't wait for the rest of the lecture, and the connection is cut off. 

Erik watches as in the distance, amongst the stars, escape pods carrying the sick and injured are shot into spraying showers of light and debris. He buries the rising feeling. Everyone has to die sometime. 

...

...

...

The third time is the result of a culmination of events.

Erik follows silently, as Charles stalks through the death star, lightsaber in hand and a steady green glow lighting the way down dark corridors. He's looking for Shaw.

He doesn't know that Shaw is gone, already miles away by now. 

When Charles gets to Shaw's abandoned headquarters, he stops. 

"Where is he?"

Erik steps out, and brandishes his own lightsaber. "Gone."

"Where?" Charles persists, turning, and his eyes glint in confusion upon seeing Erik. They shine a brilliant blue once they recognise him. "The man from the bar." He whispers.

Erik half smiles, an ugly twist of his lips. "It's so nice to be remembered."

Charles shakes his head "I thought you didn't get involved in politics."

"That was then," Erik replies, readying his lightsaber "this is now."

They fight, but neither is fighting to kill. 

Charles is trying to manoeuvre a way out of this room and off of this ship, and Erik's trying to knock him unconscious so he can take as much information about the resistance from his head as he can and return to Shaw. Maybe Erik should kill him afterwards, but the boy is fighting so earnestly, it hardly seems fair. He knows he'll be disobeying Shaw's orders but he decides it's worth it. 

After a particularly strong lunge, they knock each other's lightsabers from each other's hands and they go skittering away. Erik watches as his own gets knocked off into the drop, and curses, but then sees Xavier's still on the other side of the room. 

He sticks out his hand and calls for it, but as it comes sailing towards him, it stops- and Erik sees Charles' hand out too. 

The lightsaber wavers between them. 

"Erik," Charles says, as Erik strains, and Erik hisses at the use of his name "you don't have to do this. There is so much more to you than you know. Shaw has manipulated you, used your anger and grief to control you- my friend, it doesn't have to be like this." His eyes are so blue, and his voice is so earnest, and Erik marvels at how the weapon is shaking perfectly still in the air as they both reach. They're equally matched. But Charles' reach is so much calmer, he looks almost serene in his control of the force whilst Erik is seething. 

"Shaw is going to kill all of the Rebellion."

"I can see your mind, Erik," Charles says, shaking his head "I know you've lost dearly, but you cannot let that man win."

An explosion takes place below deck and Erik frowns, but it's enough of a slip for Charles to send him hurtling backwards into the wall, and dart forward to grab the saber. Erik groans as he slumps to the ground and a few pieces of ceiling metal drop around him. He slows those that land on top of him with the force, and watches as Charles stands above him. 

"Come with us, Erik." He says, and he holds out his hand. "There is so much more to you than you know. More than this senseless anger and hatred. I've sensed it."

Erik snarls, and with a twist of his hand, pushes Charles towards the bridge. It's not strong enough, and Charles isn't thrown, but merely slid there. 

Charles nods. "Fine. But if you ever change your mind, just reach out to me." He taps his temple "I'll hear you, Erik. Goodbye."

Erik stays sitting in the burning ship for awhile longer. He briefly considers not reporting back to Shaw, but decides that ultimately, that's the worst decision to make. He refastens his black cloak, and sets about finding a new lightsaber, and when he does eventually report to Shaw, he's humiliated and beaten, before being given back his place as his right hand. 

Because he'd learnt something, when Charles had found him on the Force plane. 

That Charles, in the deepest, furtherest corner of his mind has some element of darkness. Small, but there. 

Malleable. 

Charles, could be turned. 

Shaw had rewarded him with a cold, proud smile, and something in Erik had twitched and settled. 

...

...

...

The fourth time had only lasted a few minutes. 

Erik had been patrolling the outer rims of the ship, pausing to look out into the endless void of deep space, when he had felt a flickering heat near his face, and a presence in his mind. 

It was Charles, and suddenly Erik could see him, sitting on a log in front of a roaring fire in the middle of a forest...in the middle of the white washed corridor in Section E of the ship. 

"Well this is new." Erik murmurs, and Charles looks up, suddenly alert. 

"Who said that?" He calls, and Erik cocks his head 

"I can see you, can you not see me?"

"Erik?" Charles questions, eyebrows furrowing together. He stands from his log, and the flames lick light under his chin. Erik sees that Charles' hair is wet, and wonders briefly where he is. 

"It's me. We're...connected, somehow."

Charles looks thoughtful "are you sure you didn't just try to contact me because you've turned to the lightside?"

Erik snorts in spite of himself, and Charles half smiles. 

"Just wondering."

"You wonder incorrectly, Jedi." Erik replies, and opens his mouth to ask Charles just where he is- when the image flickers, and Charles is gone, and so is the presence of him. Erik looks back out into space, they're separated again now, but somewhere out there in that darkness, Charles is by a fire. 

...

...

...

The fifth time occurs much the same way. 

"Erik!" Charles exclaims "what happened to you?"

Erik doesn't say anything, ignoring the apparition of Charles, instead focused on the nurse droid that is stitching up a slice in his shoulder dutifully. He can see out of his peripheral that Charles is examining his face- probably taking in the bruising eyes and split lip. The blue-eyed boy seems so utterly distraught at seeing Erik like this, that Erik can't hold his tongue. "I take it you can see me this time," he says for way of conversation 

Charles nods "yes- yes I can. And I can see the droid working on you. Can you see me?"

Erik nods, Charles looks good. He looks healthy and well-fed, well-rested as though he's just been awoken from a long deserved sleep. He's in a Rebel Commander Uniform, and is sitting in a plush black chair. He's piloting a ship somewhere, and Erik briefly wonders where, and who else is on board. Is it the entire resistance? Is it just a small specialised crew? There can't be many of them left at any rate, Shaw has killed so many. 

"Did Shaw do this to you?" Charles whispers, and Erik flashes his eyes of steel warningly "Erik..."

"Don't pass judgement on what you can't understand."

Charles looks splutteringly indignant at that, and Erik wonders if he's touched a nerve. "I may not have suffered what you have suffered, Erik, but I can feel the balance in all things. You think you're alone but you're not, do you understand?" His eyes are glittering with tears "you must know this already, but I'll remind you- there are so few of us left. You've reduced us, that's true, but we've never given up hope, and we never will. We're the spark, and the dark side will never truly wipe us out. You could be a part of this, Erik."

"You have no idea-"

"What I  _don't_ understand, though," Charles continues harshly "is how someone who's seen all the things you've seen, endured all the things you've endured, could let Shaw destroy families the way he does."

Erik snarls but Charles barrels on:

"He's slaughtered millions across galaxies, destroyed entire planets, and you can help stop him."

They're both breathing heavily, and Erik closes his eyes. "There is only one way to get anywhere in this world, Charles," Erik says quietly "I'll teach you this lesson for free. And it's power. Even over there, on your light side, you still use it to pull rank. You're a commander, all right, but that's because you're a jedi. Why are you so against a world where those with power are given their rightful place? The only difference between that and this is that it won't be a secret anymore."

Charles shakes his head, and his eyes are alight with sympathy. "My father," Charles whispers "he was a good man. A good,  _good_ man, with a loving wife and a son who worshipped him-" he smiles through his tears, and Erik knows then that this boy is going to cause trouble "- the dark side...the power, it lured him. Shaw lured him, promised him  _better._ A better wife, a better life, a better son- it consumed him. And by the time he realised, he tried to stop- tried to free himself of it's dark rule and Shaw killed him."

"Why are you telling me this? To remind me that Shaw will kill me if I try to leave him?"

"To show you that it's never too late to try and stop the darkness from consuming you. You're not too late, Erik, and you're stronger than my Father was. You can defeat Shaw, my father didn't have help, but you do- you have me."

Erik frowns, his heart feels like it's been squeezed and Charles looks relentless 

"We saw each other in that bar all those years ago for a reason, the universe has been trying to get us together- trying to get us to work together and to change all of this. To right the imbalance. You know the Force, Erik, you can sense it just as much as I, old friend. The scales of the universe aren't right, but we can make them- we're equals and-"

"Charles," Erik whispers, breath ragged. Because he can see it, in that moment. A different universe, with him and Charles and  _peace._ An order, and a balance restored. He can see Charles by his side, their fingers intwined, he can see the way the objects on the bedside table would shake as they finally rocked together in a harmony of stars-

"Erik," he whispers, and holds out his hand. 

Erik doesn't hesitate, he takes it, and for a moment, everything is right-

The connection severs harshly, and Erik is left staring at the empty space.

No- no, that future of peace, it isn't possible. 

But there's another future, with him and Charles side by side, with lust and power between them. 

Erik wants that future.

...

...

...

The sixth time is a case to Charles' naivety. 

Charles had sent himself to Shaw's ship for Erik. 

If Erik wasn't so enamoured, he'd think Charles' incredibly stupid. 

"Erik, why are you doing this?" Charles gapes, as he's shackled and led to the elevator. "Stop- my friend- I've seen your future, you're good, I've seen it. I've sensed how conflicted you are, but you join us-"

"No, Charles." Erik says firmly, eyes resolutely forward as the lift moves up. "I've seen your future. You're going to join the dark side, and I'm taking you to Shaw to ensure you go down the right path."

"I don't understand-"

"There's a darkness in you, Charles. I sensed it when we first connected on the force plane. All you have to do is harness it." He wills for Charles to understand, but Charles just looks betrayed. 

"There's a darkness in everybody, Erik! And there is a light in everybody! Have you been ignoring everything I've ever said? It's about balance! I thought you understood the force, but you clearly know nothing of it-"

The lift doors open, and Erik grabs Charles' shoulder and hauls him in. 

Shaw is beaming. "Erik," he purrs "you never fail to impress me." And with that, he turns his attentions on Charles. "And you, Commander Xavier, well, well, well, I never thought I'd see the day when a Jedi willingly stepped to the dark without any promise. They normally have to be tempted."

Charles glares at him "I'd rather die than join the dark side."

"Tsk, tsk," Shaw grins "don't ask for such mundane things. Now, come here, let me look at you," and with a careless wave of his hand, Charles is flying across the room, until he's on his knees, hovering in the air in front of Shaw. Erik watches carefully, still on one knee in respect near the elevator. That's one of the reasons he won't go against Shaw, he's never seen that kind of power, that kind of strength. Shaw has complete control of the force, and can do things that Erik had once thought impossible. The Rebellion have never stood a chance, especially now that their best jedi is powerless before Shaw's gaze. "You're very pretty, Charles," Shaw murmurs, and Erik grits his teeth. 

He doesn't dare breathe, he needs Shaw to sense the darkness in Charles like he did. To turn him the way he'd turned Erik, so that Charles and Erik could be together-

Shaw reaches for his saber, and the red light casts a warm glow over Charles' face. Charles is shaking in his grip, and Shaw looks positively delighted, and uses the lightsaber to cut Charles' Jedi robes off his body, baring his scarred, pale chest. The red light get's so close to grazing skin but Shaw's control is impeccable. 

"My, my, such scars," Shaw murmurs "I guess that Jedi training's a lot more rigorous than it used to be. Or have you just been in quite a few scrapes, Commander? Are you a bit of a risk taker?" 

Charles lifts his chin defiantly "I used to be. But I realised impulsivity only led to the dark side. I'm cautious now."

Shaw places one hand on Charles' chest, and lightly teases his nails down towards the Jedi's navel. Charles squirms. "I wonder just how cautious you are though, Commander. I mean- you popped yourself into one of those escape pods and mailed yourself to Erik the moment you thought he was conflicted. You stole your way aboard a burning ship to find and kill me, all alone, armed only with your lightsaber." Shaw grins "that sounds to me, like someone desperate for glory."

Erik watches as Shaw traces a pattern into Charles' naval "Erik is conflicted-"

"No, you foolish boy, he isn't," Shaw laughed "I planted that in the force plane for you to sense. He's resolved. Now," Shaw digs his nails into Charles' torso and Charles yelps in pain. "There we go, now you see Charles, everyone has a weakness. A physical one, a mental one, there are all sorts. Yours is here, just below your belly button. And that means your mental defences are down and yes- there we go."

Erik watches as Charles weeps, as Shaw takes all of the information from him. 

"So, they're hiding on that tiny little planet, huh? I knew there were few of you, Charles, but really," Shaw chuckled, and lowers Charles onto the floor, who slumps like all his strings have been cut. He's hiccuping through his tears, the tiny crescent nail marks on his lower body burning bright red. "You'll do well here, Charles," Shaw calls, as he gestures for his guards to take Charles to one of the holding cells "I'll make you strong."

Erik resists the urge to follow Charles out, and instead waits for Shaw to speak. 

"It's going to take some time." Shaw says eventually "but we can break him. Make him lose hope. And then he's all yours."

"Thank you, Master Shaw." Erik says, rising, but as he heads for the door Shaw calls after him:

"He may be yours, Erik, but let's not forget who you belong to, hm?"

Erik hesitates, but doesn't turn around. "Yes, Master Shaw," he says slowly, and takes himself down to the brink. 

During the time that Charles is held prisoner, Erik doesn't get to see him, but he isn't too bothered by that fact. He doesn't particularly want to see Charles being tortured and stripped of hope, so he makes himself useful aboard the ship, and focuses on tracking the way towards the planet where the remaining Rebels are hiding. 

...

...

...

It's a few months later, when he sees Charles for the seventh time. 

He had been reporting to Shaw, when the doors had opened and the sounds of chains rumbling as they dragged against the metal floor had caused them both to turn. 

And there was Charles. 

He looked haggard, a scruffy brown beard and long greasy tendrils of hair obscuring his face and eyes. He looked gaunt, but fought the guards as they dragged him. Erik frowned, not devoid of hope yet then. 

"Don't worry, Erik," Shaw soothed "I've got just the thing to aid with Charles' transformation. The final key. Are you ready for that, Charles?"

Charles laughed, a little madly. "You've done everything you could do to me, Shaw. There's nothing left. The Rebellion will never stop- we'll never die-"

"That's just the problem though," Shaw interrupted cooly, "I've been doing this to  _you._ But that's not the way, not the way at all. Now, let me introduce our very special guest. It was difficult to find her, but we have Charles, just for you. Bring her in."

Erik watches as a fragile looking woman with burning eyes and brown hair, adorned in silver and gold is dragged into the room. 

Charles goes white.

Shaw laughs loudly, and Erik cringes. "Yes, it's Princess MacTaggert of Yh'thei. I do believe the two of you know each other."

Charles reaches out a hand for her "Moira," he whispers 

"Charles!" She pulls out of the guard's grip and runs to him, embracing his face. She's shaking, smoothing back his hair and looking into his eyes. "Oh Charles- Charles, we've been searching everywhere for you, everyone's looking, we never gave up hope-"

"Moira," he leans into her touch "I've missed you- I've missed you-" and they're kissing, and Erik feels something awful building inside him. He recognises a part of it as jealousy, but there's something else. Far worse. It makes him think of Magda, he knows that Shaw is only letting them embrace because he's going to- he's going to-

Charles doesn't appear to have understood what's happened when Moira goes slack above him. It's only when she's fallen to the ground, blood dripping for her nose that he  _screams._ It's a psonic echo that causes the guards to fall to their knees, Erik to cry out hoarsely and even Shaw to wince. 

Erik watches as Charles cradles the fallen princess, fingers trembling. "Moira-" he chokes "Moira, Moira, wake up- wake up-"

Erik watches Shaw's every move. 

The Supreme Leader waits until Charles is weeping softly; incoherently, before walking slowly towards him. He stands opposite Charles, on the other side of Moira, and kneels. "Charles," he says quietly, in an appealing, paternal voice "Charles, look at me,"

Charles shakes his head, still shushing Moira and crying

"Charles, come on, look at me, it's okay, shh, come on," continues the crooning

Charles looks up, and Erik is struck by how petrified he looks. He swallows- fear, fear and pain, that's what makes up the dark side. 

"I'm sorry that she's dead, Charles, but do you see- she only died because she was weak. There's no weakness like that in a world like this. There's no place for it. The weak will not survive."

Charles has stopped crying, he looks lost, like he's searching for something to tether him, and Erik knows exactly what that feels like. He knows what Shaw's going to do next, because it's been done to him. 

"I killed her, Charles." Shaw says "it was so easy- her life fell away so easily, and I would kill her again, a hundred times- and her love for you- it's gone, into nothing, as though it never was, it was all for nothing-"

Charles  _roars._ The walls shake, and Erik's lightsaber flies out of it's sheath, and explodes in the air, and all the guards' weapons melt into nothing. 

When Erik looks at Charles again, Shaw is holding him, and Charles looks devoid of hope.

...

...

...

The eighth time, Charles is being released from the med-bay. 

Erik is pacing agitatedly to see him, and when the doors slide open, he's struck by Charles' beauty. His skin looks white as snow against the black Sith robes, and his hair tousles slightly shorter and tamer down his neck. His face is bare and shaven, and he looks neat and pristine and untouchable, just like the First Order should. His red lightsaber tucked into his hilt contrasts the vibrant blue of his eyes. He looks so different without that earnestness, that idealistic glimmer- he looks like a different person. 

"Erik." He says shortly, quizzically. "What are you doing here? Master Shaw gave orders for the Sub-Crew to bring the prototype plans for the Light Speed Tracker." He starts walking briskly through the corridors, and Erik jogs to keep up. 

"I was wondering how you were." He says breathlessly, and Charles nods

"I'm quite well, General. I have special orders from Shaw, so, I must be going."

Erik watches him go, and feels lost in a way he thought he wouldn't be with Charles on his side.

He doesn't realise then, looking back, that they aren't on the same side. That he himself was still conflicted, whilst Charles was mostly resolved. All he'd known was that Shaw had a new favourite, and he had lost a mentor, and a way out. He had felt trapped and responsible for his own demise in a way that was unerringly familiar. 

...

...

...

The ninth time he  _truly_ sees Charles, is a few months later.

Erik's walked into Shaw's main room, to see Charles to the right of him. It's always Charles now, Shaw's new right hand man. Shaw's new favourite, new heir apparent to the Dark Side. Erik loves and loathes the monster he's created. 

"Ah, Erik," Shaw smiles lazily, thrumming his fingers against the stone armrest of his make-shift throne "I trust you bring good news,"

"I do, Master," Erik announces proudly "we captured the fighter pilot, we've brought her in."

"Don't keep us waiting," Shaw grinned, and Erik stood to the side, as the blue skinned girl was dragged in. 

"Charles!" The girl screamed "Charles- no- no, they haven't, Charles!"

Shaw and Erik turn to Charles simultaneously. Shaw appraises his latest conquest, the lines of his face deepening despite his carefree lips "General Xavier, do you know this girl?"

Charles, for the first time in months, looks like Charles. His eyes are shining, and he's staring at the girl with something sparkling in his eyes. He looks broken and torn, and Erik can sense the conflict in his soul reignite with burning ferocity. "She's..." Charles and the girl are making eye contact, drinking in the sight of one another endlessly "she's my sister," he breathes eventually. "Raven."

"Charles," she says again, and her tears are now of joy. "People think you're dead, Charles. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry about everything that happened. The Resistance needs you." She pays no heed to the guards at her shoulder, and she steps forward. Eyes only for her brother. " _I_ need you." 

Erik examines the girl. They clearly aren't biological siblings, but she is beautiful. Nearly as stunning as her brother, with thick blue skin and vibrant red hair and yellow eyes. She's wearing a Rebellion ring, and Erik realises with a pang that it's the same one that the stupid young floppy haired boy was wearing in a pub all those years ago. 

"Raven..." he says again, his voice choked "I...I'm so...Moira's..."

"I know, Charles." Raven soothes "I know. But we're still here. We still love you-"

"Enough of this!" Shaw snaps, and Charles seems to remember the presence of his Master. "Kill her now, Xavier. She's a weakness. A liability. She must die and it must be by your hand."

Charles doesn't move.

Erik isn't entirely sure what he should be doing.

The blue woman, this Raven, she apparently knows exactly what to do. "Charles," she calls, voice loud and unfailing. Charles looks to her like she's a beacon. "I know. You're scared, and you're listening to Shaw because you think- I'm already too far gone. I've already done so much and there's no way back, I'm trapped- but you're not, Charles." She laughs wetly "Hell, you taught me that. It is never too late. Not for anyone." Erik thinks he imagines the way her eyes flicker towards him "it is not too late for you. We can still defeat this. The Resistance can never die."

Charles steps towards her, and Shaw hisses something Erik can't hear under his breath. Charles' step falters.

Raven goes on "do you remember when we were kids, growing up on Old Earth? In that giant mansion? And we'd play Jedi for fun with sticks in the backyard," she laughs, and Charles smiles "who knew, huh? What we'd do. What we'd become." Her tone is beginning to leak desperation, and Erik is struggling to fit the pieces together. They grew up on Old Earth? Why do two rich children of the Trey System join the Resistance?

"Raven," he sighs, like a weight's been lifted, and Erik can feel new resolve. Raven's shackles unblock audibly, and just as Shaw starts to yell, Charles punches him square in the face knocking him unconscious. Raven squeals with glee as she takes out the two guards, and with a wave of his hand Charles pins the others to the wall, and the two make a break for the door. 

They halt when they near Erik, but he doesn't do anything, just watches.

Charles nods at him, and Erik feels a pulse of something across the Force. Something like affection. 

_I'll see you again, Old Friend._

Erik watches them go, before going to tend to Shaw who's swearing on the floor. Erik marvels at Charles' ability to go back to the light. How comparatively easy it was for him, compared to how long Erik had struggled. Erik wonders what's wrong with him. 

...

...

...

The  _tenth_ time Erik sees Charles, he's not expecting it. 

But apparently, Shaw had been conducting side strategies without confiding in his heir and Charles is dragged into the room. He's in his Jedi robes, and he looks wiser, but there's that same gleam in his eyes that Erik's thrilled to see.

"Xavier,"  Shaw leers "it's been too long." His nose is still a little wonky. He flicks his wrist and the screen comes on and shows the ship's projection course. It's going to destroy the Rebellion's cruiser, it's missiles are getting positioned. 

Charles spits blood, he's already been beaten by a few of the guards who remembered him. "How does it feel, Shaw? That the puny Resistance has had you chasing them for _years_ and you're still no closer to ruling the galaxy than you were when you first starte-"

Shaw force chokes him, and Charles manages to laugh in shaky breaths.

Shaw releases him, and turns to Erik with two words. "Kill him." He orders, and Erik unsheathes his lightsaber and stalks towards Charles who's panting on the ground.

Charles laughs louder "He's not going to kill me, Shaw. I've seen into his soul, he's never going to kill me."

Shaw smirks "you overestimate your ability, young Jedi. He's resolved. I can sense it, can't you?" Erik stops before Charles, lips pressed firmly together, and lifts the saber high above his head. "All of his conflict is gone. He's decided."

Erik tries not to be overly smug as he draws his strength together.

"Goodbye, Charles." Shaw snarls, and Erik turns around and sends his lightsaber shooting across the room and right into Shaw's heart. There's a moment of stillness, where Erik can see the shock in Shaw's eyes, not even processing to anger or betrayal, just shock. And Erik vindictively feels good about that. Shaw never thought Erik would betray him. But Erik has. 

The hilt clatters to the ground, and Shaw's body slumps unceremoniously beside it. The guards freeze, and Charles stares up at him.

"Erik," he breathes, and Erik hauls him up and they're a hairs breadth away from each other. Charles looks up at him, and Erik can't help himself. 

He kisses him.

It's hungry and ferocious and a  _balance._ A coming together of two perfectly opposing forces in a moment of serenity. 

Charles licks his lips when they pull away, and Erik presses their foreheads together in meaning. 

Then the guards snap out of their revere and rush towards them. 

Fighting with Charles by his side is...Erik doesn't think there's anything more perfect. They move synchronised, aiding each other, destroying everything that threatens them and when the final red armoured body falls to the ground, Charles races to the screen. 

"Erik," he breathes "they still think you're a Sith, give orders to stop the missiles!"

Erik stays standing where he is, watching Charles; mind racing. 

"Erik?"

"Charles," he shakes his head "Charles, no- we have to- we have to let it die, we have to let it all die. This entire, corrupt system. Let the missiles destroy them, and then we blow up this ship and destroy all its plans. We leave, Charles, you and I," Erik crosses the room to him, and takes Charles' hands "you and I, rulers of the galaxy, we'd have power and each other-"

"Erik," Charles whimpers "Erik, please don't do this,"

Erik searches his face "I don't understand, Charles, I thought this- I thought this is...Charles,  _please,"_ his voice breaks "I want you by my side, we're connected, you and I. We want the same thing..."

"Oh Erik," Charles sighs "my friend, we do not, I'm afraid." his eyes are brimming with sadness "I love you, Erik. Stop the missiles."

Erik shakes his head, his heart breaking "no."

"Erik please, Raven's on that ship-"

"All the more reason."

Charles glares at him "you sound like Shaw." He turns to watch the monitor, eyes flickering as he tries to think. An idea must come to him, because he starts collecting the guards weapons and walking towards the door.

Erik stares at him as he moves around. "Charles...we're meant to be together."

"Then come with me," he says, unpausing in his movements "but I am not going to abandon all of my friends on that ship for some ludicrous vision of the two of us ruling over a galaxy." He snaps. "I don't want to rule over my fellow man, Erik, I want to live side by side with them." He heads for the door "this is it, Erik. You'll always be welcome but this is the last time I ask: come with me."

...

...

...

The eleventh time Erik sees Charles, it's to watch the young Jedi be embraced by a group of people that look at him with all the love that you'd show your mother.

He sees Raven, in a smart pilot's uniform, and a tall boy in glasses who speaks to Charles a mile-a-minute. There are a small cluster of people that Charles seems to gravitate towards so Erik takes further notice of them. There's a ginger haired boy, and a muscular blond man, and a girl with hair the colour of midnight. Erik doesn't really feel threatened by any of them but Logan, who ruffles Charles' hair and slides a huge hand around Charles' waist when the floppy haired man hugs him tight. "I'm glad you're back safe, Chuck," Logan is big and imposing, with rippling muscles and a stern face. He looks like he exudes danger, but he also looks loyal. The type of person who's fought for the Resistance ever since they were old enough to fight, which is something Erik will never have. 

"I'll always come back for you, Logan," Charles teases, and Logan doesn't smile, but something in his face warms. "Everyone, this is the famous Erik, treat him well, he's saved my life a few more times than he's put it in jeopardy, so I'm pretty sure I owe him," he shoots Erik a wink, like everything's that easy. 

And it is.

They envelop him in their love, and he feels tethered and whole in a way he hasn't felt since he was a young boy in his mother's arms.

If this is god's idea of a joke, Erik decides that he rather likes the big guy's sense of humour.  

...

...

...

He doesn't see Charles for a twelfth time, because he never lets that blue eyed wonder out of his sight ever again. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Phew, I hope you guys enjoyed it. Sorry for typos and stuff eeekk obviously if you're wondering I just watched the latest star wars (and sorry but I super love Kylo man i think he rocks!!!)
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> Prompts and comments? 
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> pleeeassseee
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> *sings star wars theme song* doooo doooo dodo dodo doooo doooo


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